Dan requests you mail him cards and drugs
If you have a sneaking suspicion that a pizza’s going to give you the runs later that night, shouldn’t you walk away? I tried to, but the blog had to be representative, thus I had to get down at least one slice and I did. Sympathy emails and comments, along with a case of Immodium, would be appreciated.
Josh and I have been friends for about 15 years now and we’ve always gotten along. I’m afraid to say that Josh and I “agreed to disagree” on the rating of this pizza. I hope our friendship can recover in time for the next review.
As I’m sure Josh will tell you, the Freschetta brand has no clue about putting toppings on a pizza. For example, before we started this blog, Josh and I tried a Freschetta artichoke pizza…with 3 (yes only 3) artichokes on the whole thing. This pizza with chicken had about 6 pieces of chicken in an unevenly spread pattern on the pizza (see photo). I was checking out of the supermarket recently and saw a guy with a Freschetta in his hands. I sternly warned him to expect few and misplaced toppings, and with that, he hurried to the 12 items or less checkout lane to purchase his pizza.
Let me tell you how to make this pizza right in your very own home. Get some saltine crackers. Put some buffalo wing sauce on the cracker. Throw some feta cheese on it. The chicken is optional because we’ll assume you missed the mark. Bake it. And presto, you’re done!
My recommendation is to avoid this pizza if you can, but if you must try it for yourself, buy some hard liquor to quell whatever’s going to happen in your gut. (0.5 out of 10 pizzas)
Josh pens an SNL sketch to convey his feelings
