Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Digorno Rising Crust Pepperoni


Dan's Thoughts

It takes 22 minutes to bake a DiGiornio rising crust pepperoni pizza, but it only took about 12 seconds for my rising expectations to crumble. True, brothers and sisters, there is an element of excitement when you know a yeast dough is expanding and browning in the oven, as if you’ve spent the last hour kneading that dough yourself. But I think the pizza makers at DiGiornio forgot to stock up at the spice rack when they got their ingredients at the supermarket. The dough had no taste and the sauce had no taste. Unless the “flavor scientists” forgot to add the necessary chemicals to both, that is.

The pie is saved by the pepperonis, for sure. They were a nice brick red color, very spherical in nature, and added a degree of flavor to the otherwise wasteland of white dough and undistinguishable red sauce.

Perhaps a technicality, I purchased this pie from the supermarket and dropped it off at Josh’s house before going home, then coming back to his house. Does that make it delivery? Because, as you know, their motto is “It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiornio”. Josh maintains that any time someone buys a DiGiornio pizza, they are technically delivering it to their home every time they return from the supermarket. I certainly delivered, but this pie did not. (1 out of 10 pizzas)



Joshua's Feelings

I bet Dan Mentioned this, but if you have a slogan like "it's not delivery,

it's digorno" aren't you just a jerk? Are you hiding the fact that your slogan has nothing to do with the quality of your product and that you're dodging that issue by attempting to point out the fact that it's convenient?

Still, I had to drive out to the grocery store, and stand behind a woman who couldn't figure out how to work the automatic scanner while her child kicked me in the shins over and over.... it most certainly was not delivery, it was awful.

sure, I made that scenario up. I pieced it together from other grocery store nightmares that have happened, but speaking of nightmares…

If you look in the lower right corner of the digorno box between the phrases "keep frozen" and "cook thoroughly" is the statement "not ready to eat".

I must agree whole heartedly. The Pepperonis were eh... and while the sauce and cheese weren't all that bad the "rising crust" certainly rose up and made its bland season-less presence known throughout each bite which became a bigger chore.

In a recent add for Digorno a roommate is seen attempting to scam his roommate out of his hard earned money by insisting the pizza was delivered and there were several extra charges. In this situation, wouldn't the delivery option just be a better option all together, because at this point the slogan is "it's not delivery, it's your asshole roommate attempting to scam you out of 20 bucks". If I ever encounter a roommate who attempts to pull that scam on me using a pie that is such a lame duck, his body will never be found.

2 out of 10


1 comment:

  1. You guys made my day, and also made me supremely bummed that THIS is what I'm having for dinner tonight. :'(