I wish Josh and I could have invited our tree-hugging friends over for a Kashi pizza dinner party tonight. The box was 100% recycled paperboard, using 16% less packaging. In a tip o’ the cap to us, the brand is affiliated with Project Sparky—in purchasing this pizza, we’re saving trees and energy, while also reducing CO2 gases and waste. The pizza’s vegetarian, too, with nice graphic pictures of whole grains, real vegetables and fruits, and other wholesome looking food on the back of the box. The whole affair was also a little highbrow—with an actual haiku on the side and no dummy pizza pictures on the box showing a mock stove timer or a mock pepperoni pizza on the middle rack. However, my brain functioning returned to low speed when they reminded us in instruction 5 that the “product will be hot” after baking. No shit, Sherlock. I thought we were eating fudgecicles—my bad. And, as I type, I’m periodically glancing at an Arby’s salt packet on the computer workstation.
This pizza falls into my category of “snack” as opposed to meal. I could have eaten the whole pizza by myself for a meal or the half pizza as a snack as it was the smallest to date of any of the pizzas we’ve tried. I secretly timed Josh eating his half and it lasted only 3 minutes 43 seconds. Salt packet. I wasn’t far behind.
Kashi did a lot of things right here and I can’t really find any negatives, save for the size. There’s a general, even disbursement of small roasted vegetable toppings, so you get a little of each of the vegetables in most bites. There’s seasoning in the sauce and the whole grain crust was good and good for your gut (4g of fiber!). The chesses are well-blended. Not much more you can say about this one. If only they packaged it in a Red Baron pizza box, well then I’d be living off Red Baron frozen pizzas every day of my life. (9.3 pizzas out of 10)
By the way, I hope when you’re reading my pizza numerical rating that you’re teleported back to your 6th grade math class doing fractions and the corresponding decimal conversions. That’s what I think of, at least, when I make the ratings. This pizza would be 93 pizzas out of 100. And weren’t the pizzas always pepperoni in the textbook? Did they have any fire-roasted vegetable pizzas? Arby's.
Song about Kashi
You aren’t washy
Or horrid and nasty
You’re nice through and through
Seem to want to be good
Just as they all should
But never do
What do you say we
Move into together
In a little place by the sea
If you left me and took the kids
I don’t think you’d screw me over
With to much alimony
You’re a good pizza
Maybe we should just be
Really good friends
You know the type
Who get together once and awhile
And then one of them gets thrown in the oven
9 out of 10