Monday, May 2, 2011

California Pizza Kitchen crispy thin crust Sicilian recipe


Dan talks about Rick and Larry

Written on the back of the box is the following: “Enjoy as is—or get creative and add something extra on top before baking.  We like the fresh touch of halved cherry tomatoes.”

This is completely horseshit if your pizza has no flavor.  Girlfriend, no cherry tomatoes gonna give this pizza flavor.  I like cherry tomatoes and they’re good on salads.  But they don’t belong on a pizza that’s the equivalent of a kale sprig on a Grand Slam platter at Denny’s.  If it were me, I’d rewrite the line “we like the fresh touch of spices and fresh shiitake mushrooms and some crumbled bacon and some avocado slices and cucumber chunks and nitrate-free, dipped-in-celery-juice-concentrate pepperonis, and so on.  However, I’d insist on keeping in their “low-moisture, part skim mozzarella”.  Heaven knows my thighs don’t need any high-moisture cheese.

What’s up with Rick’s over-sized red sweater on the back of the box?  He could house a small family in the sleeves.

3.1 pizzas out of 10

this is Jigsaw... the only way to get out alive is to cut off your tongue so you'll never be able to taste this pizza again.... oh my... that was way to easy.  Maybe there shouldn't have been 6 more SAW's...

Joshua talks about Larry and Rick

Larry and Rick like to take photos together.  They look happy in those photos.  They look like they’re proud of the work they do.  Larry and Rick are jerks.

First time we tried a California Pizza Kitchen Larry and Rick didn’t bother to put their smiling faces on that pizza.  Instead they put “limited edition” and took their smiling faces off to a bar where hopefully they drank out of shame and fear and loss.  My guess is that they just got matching shirts that said “if you bought our limited edition pizza, you’re a sucker!” and then used said matching shirts to cover up and dispose the body of a homeless person they chose to kill for pleasure.

"my favorite part was when that hobo started crying!... hahah, the nerve!  What's he got to live for anyway?!"

Why would I take two perfectly good mens pizza company and attempt to make them look like hobo murderers who can’t stop smiling and taking advantage of people?  Simply because I can’t picture what else they’d be doing since it feels like they churned out a half assed pizza, said “good enough” and picked up their hobo axes for another day at the beach.
We’re all looking for the spark, the fire, the passion in our lives.  It should be in the people we know, the games we play, the clothes we wear, the music we listen to.  It should also be in the pizza we eat.  I just don’t feel the passion in CPK.  They even tell you to add your own toppings to the pizza… that’s like someone building half a house and then telling you to add a roof if you think it’d compliment the hardwood floors in the kitchen.

Less time at the photo shoot boys, more time infusing passion and soul into a product you’re going to put your toothy smiles on.

3.5 out of 10 don’t hate me because I’m beautifuls 

I've gone hollywood, which is way better then going Dollywood.

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