Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Tombstone Original Pepperoni

Dan Obits

No one, not even me, remembers the advertising slogan for Tombstone pizzas-- “What do you want on your Tombstone?”  But it got me thinking about what I want on mine.

10) Beloved husband of Amy
9) Manfred Von Richthofen II
8) A few slices short of a pizza
7) Half-baked till the end
6) Ultimate Supreme
5) Devoted husband of Amy
4) Always delivered
3) Colgate toothpaste user
2) Meat lover
1) Give me some damn olives, I’m dead!

Tombstone gets high marks for exceeding my expectations.  First and foremost, they are the leader in eco-friendly frozen pizza packaging.  There’s no messing around here—what you see is what you get—with no box to hide anything.  It’s just the pizza on a piece of cardboard, wrapped in cellophane. 

Two, for a $5 pizza, it was actually all right.  The cheese had a little bit of a funky taste—funky in the sense that I noticed it was unlike other cheese toppings I’ve tasted—but not off-putting.  But, watch out DiGiornio, this pizza actually used spices in their pizza sauce.  By no means extraordinary, the pepperoni added to the flavor in a positive way and the crust was good.  All in all, all right.

6.0 pizzas out of 10

BONUS Fun Fact: The name came from The Tombstone Tap, a tavern the founders, Joe "Pep" and Ron Simek, owned across from a cemetery.

Joshua Omits

It's your grave.

Next time someone asks you a question about themselves make sure you use that as your answer.  It works for anything.

some exmaples
"does this dress make me look fat?"   "It's Your grave!"
"what are we going to do about these fourth quarter losses!?" "It's Your Grave!"
"should I eat this whole bucket of generic store brand cookies and cream ice cream?"  "It's Your grave"
"should I pay for my grandmothers headstone?"  "....."

alright, 75% of the time it's a great joke.  We really need to stop talking about graves and cemeteries 25% of the time, it kills my bit.

you know, there was nothing flashy about this pizza and that's what I like about it.  No elaborate ad campaigns, no fancy packaging, just "here you go, it's a damn pizza that's been frozen"  and I appreciate it's bluntness.  Not the best but at least it was forward and honest.

7.5 out of 10 zombie films that didn't need to be made

this is me doing my best crypt keeper impression, "watch out kiddies you might catch an infectious pizease! hehehehehehehe"

1 comment:

  1. Sad I wasn't invited for this one. Mmmmmpepperoni.